After reading this article today on Care2.com, I really felt the need to blog about a specific comment I found.. I'm not re-posting the comment, but let me paraphrase, as I've heard this so many times. "Women who would rather have a child at home instead of in a hospital are selfish and aren't thinking about their baby, because what would happen if that baby were to have problems while at home? Isn't that a lot to be risking just so you can have your birth your way?" My response is this: aren't women entitled to be able to choose their own birth experience? Sure, the "norms" of the times tell us to try to cut out the woman's participation in her own body's birth, normally by handing over the reigns to a doctor.. but is this right? Shouldn't a woman have the option to do what her body was made to do, instead of being ridiculed and criticized for going against the grain? Especially in the United States' healthcare and socialized perceptions of pregnancy, we try to make women think that they absolutely can not give birth without the assistance of a doctor. Women are browbeaten by pregnancy shows and other media into thinking that pregnancy is a painful procedure that someone must "deliver" them from. Women are incapable of doing it themselves. Women are told that pregnancy is too painful for them to endure, even though before the medicalization of birth, women had no option but to endure the pain. I for one am tired of being told by the media that my body doesn't know how to give birth and that I am too weak to be able to withstand the pain, even though my foremothers did. If those women hadn't been giving birth without the assistance of someone with a PhD degree, I wouldn't be here today! Pain is our body's response to what is going wrong. If you stepped on glass, your body's response is pain. You stop walking on it and you check to get the glass out, bandage up your foot, and away you go. For some reason, we don't allow that to happen in childbirth. Because we assume that ALL pain is "bad", we want to immediately anesthetize and sterilize the mother's experience. Yes, childbirth is painful, I have no doubt. However, if something is going wrong with your birth experience, you would have a different kind of pain. A kind of pain that would give you that gut feeling, that intuition, that something is wrong in this situation. So, sure, at that point, you would need a doctor.
But before I ramble on and go off on a branch I don't wish to explore at the moment in writing, my question is why would we deny and criticize a woman for wanting to change her own birthing experience? Many other countries around the worlds don't have - or don't WANT - to medicalize their childbirth and do even BETTER than we do with infant and maternal mortality. Perhaps this is a good indication of how our society has effectively brainwashed our women - and men, apparently - into thinking that the only way is to medicalize childbirth. The majority of childbirths do not need a doctor's aid, but because we live in a time of elective c-sections and a time where we believe that everything that can go wrong, will go wrong, we believe we must cover every "what if" possible. Yes, its a good idea to go over such things with your midwife, but what a lot of people don't recognize is that midwives aren't just milkmaids that are completely unqualified. A lot of midwives now are nurses and must pass certification to be able to practice in most states. They can check to see if you have any conditions that would make you more high-risk, which in that case, they would refer you to a doctor. They also have plans in place for if something does go wrong during your birth and you need to be taken to the hospital. If that's too big of a fear, you could always give birth in a birthing center instead that has doctors on staff, just in case something goes wrong. They won't intervene otherwise, which will allow the woman to give birth at her own pace, instead of the doctor's schedule.
The "moral of my story" is that women need to realize that their power is so much more than what they have been told all their lives. Education is key for both prospective mothers and fathers. Question what is being told to you and don't allow others' judgements to cloud your opinion. Women have been giving birth since the very beginning, and medicalized practice has been around for how long? Sure, some people may be more comfortable in a hospital, which is great for that person.. but no one should deny their own birthing experience, just because people say that it is "selfish" to put themselves before their baby. Women have always had to put themselves last on their list. Birth is one of the biggest life experiences ever and the woman's participation and experience should also be valued, instead of fit into someone else's ideals.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
"Cat-Calls are detrimental to everyone"
Cat-Calls Are Detrimental to Everyone
Interesting study on women's perceptions of men after sexist remarks. Even overhearing a sexist remark to another woman will negatively impact women's views of men.
Cat-Calls Are Detrimental to Everyone
Interesting study on women's perceptions of men after sexist remarks. Even overhearing a sexist remark to another woman will negatively impact women's views of men.
Cat-Calls Are Detrimental to Everyone
Friday, September 18, 2009
Women! Gender Roles & Relationships
I posted this on OkCupid but it was overran with sexism and angry men, so I didn't get any decent responses. I know no one reads my blog, but it's worth a shot!
________________________
Dear Women on Ok Cupid!
So, I have a friend that is a very active user on OkCupid.. He hasn't had much luck with OkCupid, and he thinks that all of the pretty women want alpha males. I'm a Psychology and Women's & Gender Studies major and have heard quite the opposite in all of my classes (both psychology and WGST classes, seperatly, as not to skew the people that come to the classes). The only thing that the women agreed on was that they wanted a man that didn't seem to lose all the fights, but wasn't picking fights for just anything (in other words, able to protect but not aggressive for no reason). So my question to the women that view this is.. Do women that are on this website like men who are more like Tyler Durden or Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby on the Cosby Show)? Do you like men that are overly masculine, general assholes, very athletic, best in everything, emotionally reclusive, business oriented (as opposed to family oriented or people oriented), protective, cares little about your sexual pleasure, etc.? Or do you prefer someone who shows their emotion, not always best at everything, care about their family, does an equal share of the domestic activities (washing dishes, taking care of the kids, vacuuming, doing laundry, etc), allows you to do what you want outside of the home and is understanding of the fact you need your own time, cares about your sexual pleasure, etc? Note that I didn't put "generally attractive" in either category; I know plenty of men who are unattractive who strive to be Tyler Durdens and know men who are pretty damn attractive that are Cliff Huxtables! Also, you don't have to agree to ALL topics; you can definitely pick and choose which ones you think are great and which ones aren't.
And again, this question is mainly for the opinion of women. If men have smart responses that add to the conversation, feel free to say something.
As far as I go, I definitely prefer the Cliff Huxtable type. However, this doesn't really apply to OkCupid, since I didn't find him on OkCupid. I like that he is independent and not overly emotionally dependent on me, but I love that he helps around the house and we both have activities we do away from each other. We don't have the public sphere vs. private sphere thing that a lot of our parents experienced (my parents included). As a matter of fact, he is totally supportive that I plan on going to law school (or at least grad school) after I finish my undergraduate degree. We have already agreed that who ever makes less will take more care of the children, once we get to that point, which is a HUGE step for most men, since being employed is part of the masculine concept. The idea of being a "house husband" is a pretty foreign concept for most American men.
________________________
Dear Women on Ok Cupid!
So, I have a friend that is a very active user on OkCupid.. He hasn't had much luck with OkCupid, and he thinks that all of the pretty women want alpha males. I'm a Psychology and Women's & Gender Studies major and have heard quite the opposite in all of my classes (both psychology and WGST classes, seperatly, as not to skew the people that come to the classes). The only thing that the women agreed on was that they wanted a man that didn't seem to lose all the fights, but wasn't picking fights for just anything (in other words, able to protect but not aggressive for no reason). So my question to the women that view this is.. Do women that are on this website like men who are more like Tyler Durden or Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby on the Cosby Show)? Do you like men that are overly masculine, general assholes, very athletic, best in everything, emotionally reclusive, business oriented (as opposed to family oriented or people oriented), protective, cares little about your sexual pleasure, etc.? Or do you prefer someone who shows their emotion, not always best at everything, care about their family, does an equal share of the domestic activities (washing dishes, taking care of the kids, vacuuming, doing laundry, etc), allows you to do what you want outside of the home and is understanding of the fact you need your own time, cares about your sexual pleasure, etc? Note that I didn't put "generally attractive" in either category; I know plenty of men who are unattractive who strive to be Tyler Durdens and know men who are pretty damn attractive that are Cliff Huxtables! Also, you don't have to agree to ALL topics; you can definitely pick and choose which ones you think are great and which ones aren't.
And again, this question is mainly for the opinion of women. If men have smart responses that add to the conversation, feel free to say something.
As far as I go, I definitely prefer the Cliff Huxtable type. However, this doesn't really apply to OkCupid, since I didn't find him on OkCupid. I like that he is independent and not overly emotionally dependent on me, but I love that he helps around the house and we both have activities we do away from each other. We don't have the public sphere vs. private sphere thing that a lot of our parents experienced (my parents included). As a matter of fact, he is totally supportive that I plan on going to law school (or at least grad school) after I finish my undergraduate degree. We have already agreed that who ever makes less will take more care of the children, once we get to that point, which is a HUGE step for most men, since being employed is part of the masculine concept. The idea of being a "house husband" is a pretty foreign concept for most American men.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
In Memory of My Grandmother, Joan Baggott
Cancer is bad. Cancer is probably one of the worst ways to die, in my opinion. In one of my previous classes, I learned that women are most afraid of dying of cancer.. The only problem lies that they are most afraid of breast cancer. Because of this immense fear, a lot of research is put into this field, as well as a lot of the NIH's cancer funding.
My grandmother died from a horrible, long painful death. She had stomach cancer, one of the rarest cancers in the United States. Most cases of stomach cancer are in Asian countries (China, Japan, etc.) so it is pretty rare here. It is caused by a bacteria in undercooked food, mostly. The unfortunate part about this cancer is that most people do not get tested until the cancer has progressed incredibly far. This was the case with my grandmother.
In August, she had surgery to remove a mass in her stomach. Before the surgery, she was declared to have stage two stomach cancer. When she went in for surgery, they found that it was actually stage four cancer and had to remove a large portion of her stomach and hundred of lymph nodes surrounding the stomach. Because of the surgery, she was never able to eat much and vomited the majority of the food she tried to eat. She went through many months of rigorous chemotherapy and radiation. The cancer continued to spread rapidly through her body and eventually spread to her bones. The past month has been horrible for her and my family. A little over two weeks ago, she was sent to a hospice house and died on May 14th, 2009, surrounded by her family. When she was first diagnosed with cancer, she weighed 180 pounds; when she died, she was under 100 pounds and looked like nothing but a skeleton.
This being said, why are we putting so much money towards breast cancer research? Shouldn't we be putting money into these cancers that are found normally in the late stages? Breast cancer can easily be found, through frequent self breast exams. If we are to put more funding into breast cancer research, we should be putting more money into heat-sensitive "mammograms". Heat-sensitive technology is MUCH more reliable than mammograms, since mammograms only became popular due to the high cost of the machinery. In any other country, women are not recommended to get mammograms every year until much later in life. Studies have shown that mammograms aren't more reliable than self breast exams or exams done by palpating the breast. So, why are we putting so much awareness on breast cancer? We should be putting more money into these organs that are less easy to discover cancer on!
Now, before I post this, I want to make sure that anyone that reads this understands that I do feel sympathy for people who have had breast cancer, for those who have died from breast cancer, and those that are fighting breast cancer currently. I have numerous Susan G. Komen items around my condo and certainly think that breast cancer is a bad thing too. However.. there are other cancers that we should be concerned about. As a matter of fact, the number one killer of women isn't even a cancer; it's heart disease! Cancer is something that has hit my family and I very hard. My father fought and won against kidney cancer in 2008 - we were incredibly lucky that his cancer was contained in his kidney so all he had to do was have his kidney removed. I have had teachers and classmates before that have fought and won against other cancers. One of my aunts and I have also dealt with a cancer of our own. I certainly have sympathy for people who have had cancer and I can totally empathise what they go through.
All that I ask is that everyone question what they hear from the healthcare field and that they not latch on to fads about health. Look up the information on the research that you monetarily support and get the word out that we need to research these other cancers too. Cancer is a very large issue and I hope that during my lifetime, we find a cure for cancer entirely.
Thanks for reading this far and I hope that you've learned something from what I've said.
Kaitlyn Timmerman
In Memory of Joan Baggott, 5/14/09
My grandmother died from a horrible, long painful death. She had stomach cancer, one of the rarest cancers in the United States. Most cases of stomach cancer are in Asian countries (China, Japan, etc.) so it is pretty rare here. It is caused by a bacteria in undercooked food, mostly. The unfortunate part about this cancer is that most people do not get tested until the cancer has progressed incredibly far. This was the case with my grandmother.
In August, she had surgery to remove a mass in her stomach. Before the surgery, she was declared to have stage two stomach cancer. When she went in for surgery, they found that it was actually stage four cancer and had to remove a large portion of her stomach and hundred of lymph nodes surrounding the stomach. Because of the surgery, she was never able to eat much and vomited the majority of the food she tried to eat. She went through many months of rigorous chemotherapy and radiation. The cancer continued to spread rapidly through her body and eventually spread to her bones. The past month has been horrible for her and my family. A little over two weeks ago, she was sent to a hospice house and died on May 14th, 2009, surrounded by her family. When she was first diagnosed with cancer, she weighed 180 pounds; when she died, she was under 100 pounds and looked like nothing but a skeleton.
This being said, why are we putting so much money towards breast cancer research? Shouldn't we be putting money into these cancers that are found normally in the late stages? Breast cancer can easily be found, through frequent self breast exams. If we are to put more funding into breast cancer research, we should be putting more money into heat-sensitive "mammograms". Heat-sensitive technology is MUCH more reliable than mammograms, since mammograms only became popular due to the high cost of the machinery. In any other country, women are not recommended to get mammograms every year until much later in life. Studies have shown that mammograms aren't more reliable than self breast exams or exams done by palpating the breast. So, why are we putting so much awareness on breast cancer? We should be putting more money into these organs that are less easy to discover cancer on!
Now, before I post this, I want to make sure that anyone that reads this understands that I do feel sympathy for people who have had breast cancer, for those who have died from breast cancer, and those that are fighting breast cancer currently. I have numerous Susan G. Komen items around my condo and certainly think that breast cancer is a bad thing too. However.. there are other cancers that we should be concerned about. As a matter of fact, the number one killer of women isn't even a cancer; it's heart disease! Cancer is something that has hit my family and I very hard. My father fought and won against kidney cancer in 2008 - we were incredibly lucky that his cancer was contained in his kidney so all he had to do was have his kidney removed. I have had teachers and classmates before that have fought and won against other cancers. One of my aunts and I have also dealt with a cancer of our own. I certainly have sympathy for people who have had cancer and I can totally empathise what they go through.
All that I ask is that everyone question what they hear from the healthcare field and that they not latch on to fads about health. Look up the information on the research that you monetarily support and get the word out that we need to research these other cancers too. Cancer is a very large issue and I hope that during my lifetime, we find a cure for cancer entirely.
Thanks for reading this far and I hope that you've learned something from what I've said.
Kaitlyn Timmerman
In Memory of Joan Baggott, 5/14/09
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Dear Diary...
I saw this in a free local magazine that I picked up earlier and thought it would be kind of interesting to do one for myself.
Dear Diary,
I get really anxious when people mess with my stuff. I like to clean my room by myself or else I get seriously distraught.
People named Jeremy tend to gravitate to me.. or there are just a lot of people named Jeremy inbetween the ages of 19 and 30.
When my abusive boyfriend broke up with me the day after my 16th birthday, I slept in the same bed as my mom and we both cried together all night.
I named both of my first two dogs "Alex" - one was a boy and the other was a girl.
When I was younger, the coolest place to go was my parent's basement because it had ambient floodlighting with dimmers.
When I was 8, I would stay up all night watching crap tv on MTV.
When I was younger, I wanted to be black because I said that white skin was too plain. I also had to get black barbie dolls. I wanted them soooo much. :)
I was born without two of my permanent teeth. Now, they're implants. My nickname in middle school was Spongebob.
I broke one of the bones in my arm when I was really little because I was jumping on the bed when I was supposed to be sleeping. Compared to the rest of my family, I have been miraculously unharmed.
I like guys that look masculine but act feminine. I've always thought that the perfect guy for me would be a bisexual male.
I have a wide collection of Gameboys. I got my first one on my birthday, two days before my sister Larkyn was born. I also remember I got a Casper doll with glow in the dark eyes, because my nickname was Kat, like the girl in Casper. We apparently looked similar.
Up until middle school, my mom would match my siblings and I together with matching Kelly's Kids outfits. All the teachers thought I looked cute. I think I got the award for Best Dressed every year. My bows always matched my clothes.
My favorite bow had a pipecleaner bumblebee on it. It always freaked people out because they thought I really had a bee on my head.
My favorite section in my elementary school's library was the section where the teachers read to the kids, because they had the tiny Beatrice Potter books. For my 19th birthday, my mom bought me a set of all of the books. Nostalgia!
I really like socks.. a lot. My favorite pair of socks was of a giraffe. It had a lot of little giraffes on it against a black background. I think they've long since died, but I would love to find another pair someday.
When I was really little, my grandmother had a phone that looked like a piano that she kept in one of the bedrooms. My cousin and I were messing around on it and we "accidentally" called 911. We hung up and they called back. We definitely got into trouble. :) A few years ago, I found that same model of phone on eBay. I bought it.
To Be Continued...
Dear Diary,
I get really anxious when people mess with my stuff. I like to clean my room by myself or else I get seriously distraught.
People named Jeremy tend to gravitate to me.. or there are just a lot of people named Jeremy inbetween the ages of 19 and 30.
When my abusive boyfriend broke up with me the day after my 16th birthday, I slept in the same bed as my mom and we both cried together all night.
I named both of my first two dogs "Alex" - one was a boy and the other was a girl.
When I was younger, the coolest place to go was my parent's basement because it had ambient floodlighting with dimmers.
When I was 8, I would stay up all night watching crap tv on MTV.
When I was younger, I wanted to be black because I said that white skin was too plain. I also had to get black barbie dolls. I wanted them soooo much. :)
I was born without two of my permanent teeth. Now, they're implants. My nickname in middle school was Spongebob.
I broke one of the bones in my arm when I was really little because I was jumping on the bed when I was supposed to be sleeping. Compared to the rest of my family, I have been miraculously unharmed.
I like guys that look masculine but act feminine. I've always thought that the perfect guy for me would be a bisexual male.
I have a wide collection of Gameboys. I got my first one on my birthday, two days before my sister Larkyn was born. I also remember I got a Casper doll with glow in the dark eyes, because my nickname was Kat, like the girl in Casper. We apparently looked similar.
Up until middle school, my mom would match my siblings and I together with matching Kelly's Kids outfits. All the teachers thought I looked cute. I think I got the award for Best Dressed every year. My bows always matched my clothes.
My favorite bow had a pipecleaner bumblebee on it. It always freaked people out because they thought I really had a bee on my head.
My favorite section in my elementary school's library was the section where the teachers read to the kids, because they had the tiny Beatrice Potter books. For my 19th birthday, my mom bought me a set of all of the books. Nostalgia!
I really like socks.. a lot. My favorite pair of socks was of a giraffe. It had a lot of little giraffes on it against a black background. I think they've long since died, but I would love to find another pair someday.
When I was really little, my grandmother had a phone that looked like a piano that she kept in one of the bedrooms. My cousin and I were messing around on it and we "accidentally" called 911. We hung up and they called back. We definitely got into trouble. :) A few years ago, I found that same model of phone on eBay. I bought it.
To Be Continued...
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