Women! Gender Roles & Relationships

I posted this on OkCupid but it was overran with sexism and angry men, so I didn't get any decent responses. I know no one reads my blog, but it's worth a shot!

________________________

Dear Women on Ok Cupid!

So, I have a friend that is a very active user on OkCupid.. He hasn't had much luck with OkCupid, and he thinks that all of the pretty women want alpha males. I'm a Psychology and Women's & Gender Studies major and have heard quite the opposite in all of my classes (both psychology and WGST classes, seperatly, as not to skew the people that come to the classes). The only thing that the women agreed on was that they wanted a man that didn't seem to lose all the fights, but wasn't picking fights for just anything (in other words, able to protect but not aggressive for no reason). So my question to the women that view this is.. Do women that are on this website like men who are more like Tyler Durden or Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby on the Cosby Show)? Do you like men that are overly masculine, general assholes, very athletic, best in everything, emotionally reclusive, business oriented (as opposed to family oriented or people oriented), protective, cares little about your sexual pleasure, etc.? Or do you prefer someone who shows their emotion, not always best at everything, care about their family, does an equal share of the domestic activities (washing dishes, taking care of the kids, vacuuming, doing laundry, etc), allows you to do what you want outside of the home and is understanding of the fact you need your own time, cares about your sexual pleasure, etc? Note that I didn't put "generally attractive" in either category; I know plenty of men who are unattractive who strive to be Tyler Durdens and know men who are pretty damn attractive that are Cliff Huxtables! Also, you don't have to agree to ALL topics; you can definitely pick and choose which ones you think are great and which ones aren't.

And again, this question is mainly for the opinion of women. If men have smart responses that add to the conversation, feel free to say something.



As far as I go, I definitely prefer the Cliff Huxtable type. However, this doesn't really apply to OkCupid, since I didn't find him on OkCupid. I like that he is independent and not overly emotionally dependent on me, but I love that he helps around the house and we both have activities we do away from each other. We don't have the public sphere vs. private sphere thing that a lot of our parents experienced (my parents included). As a matter of fact, he is totally supportive that I plan on going to law school (or at least grad school) after I finish my undergraduate degree. We have already agreed that who ever makes less will take more care of the children, once we get to that point, which is a HUGE step for most men, since being employed is part of the masculine concept. The idea of being a "house husband" is a pretty foreign concept for most American men.